Who stole my scissors

I'm not sure where they could be. But it's really ticking me off that I can't find them. I really need my scissors.

I've been in a funk today. What's new huh? But today I'm frustrated that two of my clothing sets didn't sell on eBay yesterday. They were really cute. People all over the place are missing out because they didn't buy them. Seriously.

So I've been sitting here today wondering why I do what I do. And thinking about the fact that I'm going to miss it when I go back to work. I didn't get an interview with the first application I sent in. But there is now another job Hubby thinks I should apply for. And honestly the hours would work wonderfully so I guess I'll go for it. If I get it I won't be able to sew though, and that makes me sad.

And I think maybe I should stop making sets all together because they never do as well as I hope they will. I could concentrate on my website and the items I have there. But that' s just not nearly as fun. I don't get to make new things doing that. It's just always the same thing one after another.

So I just checked my email and I got another order from my website. Which leads me to think that it doesn't matter if it's the same thing one after another or not, at least it's a sale. Right?

But I need my scissors. I can't work without them and now I have a new order to get done.

Who stole my scissors?

More changes

I guess I need to just accept that changes are inevitable. They just seem to be happening non-stop around here lately!

Yesterday was Elliot's 10th birthday. We're having a party for him this weekend that I've just sort of thrown together. Haven't even had a chance to send out invites. I guess at this point I'll just call all the mom's to invite them. Hopefully everyone won't be booked so he'll have some friends there. I can't believe it's been 10 years since he was born. I remember it like it was yesterday. Wow.

Marleigh has her first boyfriend. Scary, huh? She's had several friends who have had boyfriends and I've always told her that she was too young for that. Then yesterday she got in the car after school and told me that Cody asked her to "go out with" him. I guess that's what they call it these days. I remember being in 6th grade and having Jesse Berenger ask me if I'd "go with him". I wondered where he wanted to go. Then I realized that was just what it was called when you were officially a couple.

So I got to thinking that never once did I ask my own Mother if I could go with someone. I felt good that at least Marleigh asked me first. I asked Marleigh what she told Cody and she said she told him she'd have to ask her mom. Good girl! So I took the opportunity to talk with her about what was and was most definitely not appropriate at her age. Then I spoke to Hubby about it and we decided that it probably wasn't that big a deal and that she knew right from wrong. I told her definitely no kissing and no talking on the phone with him non-stop. He's basically just a special friend I guess. It's strange though. My little girl has her first little boyfriend. Wow.

Sela is doing well in school. I'm worried that she doesn't have that many friends in her class. I guess I'll just need to make time on the weekends for her to get together with some other girls she knows. I ask her every day who she plays with and it's always Jasmine. Yesterday I asked if she ever played with Taylor and she said that Taylor only played with Jasmine and the other girls. So I guess Sela plays with Jasmine when she's free. I hope she'll branch out and make some other friends.

And Tess has her first little friend which I'm thrilled about. She never did pre-school like so many other kids do so she's never had her own friends. Just sort of shared Sela's friends. She says she plays with Victoria and Hadyn. This morning I dropped her off and she was being a little bit clingy with me until a sweet little blonde girl walked up with her Mother. Tess wouldn't leave my side before that but then this little girl walked up and she was ready to leave. I looked at the mother and said, "Is this Hadyn?" and she said, "Yes, and this must be Tess. She's all Hadyn talks about!". It felt good to know that the little girl that Tess has befriended likes her just as much.

Good times mostly. Lots of changes but still, good times.

Wow. It sure is quiet.

Today is the first day of school. Everyone has been sent off or dropped off and now here I am at home. Alone. No little people asking for a snack. No bottoms to wipe. No Noggin to turn on. Just quiet. Really really quiet.

I've had someone home with me for 11 years. I'm a mom. That's what I do. And now someone else is taking care of my kids during the day. I don't really like it.

Marleigh started middle school. She was excited and nervous and just a ball of energy this morning. She says she's so happy to be out of elementary school because she was, "like, sooo over that". She's definitely turning into a little teenager.

Elliot has a teacher that is new to the school this year. We met her last night and she seems very nice. She was just married 3 weeks ago, and as far as I know she's not taught before. Heaven help her. She's got a lot of little boys in that 4th grade class. I told Elliot to be extra good today. Don't want her to get scared off her first day.

Sela got the one teacher for Kindergarten that I didn't want her to get. While I'm sure this teacher will be fine, she's not the lovey-dovey type that I believe a Kindergarten teacher should be. And of all my kids, I think Sela needs that the most. The parents were supposed to stay with the kids this morning. So I went. The classroom was full of children playing and talking to each other and parents sitting at tiny little tables watching the kids. Then there was me, with Sela attached to me like a peel to a banana. I tried several times, unsuccessfully to peel her off and get her to play. She even knows kids in the class, but she just wouldn't leave my side. Eventually all but two parents (myself and one other) left and the kids headed out to play. Sela again wouldn't leave my side. The teacher finally came over and tried to coax her out onto the playground and I took it as my cue to leave. When I announced that I was going to head out Sela burst into tears. I finally peeled her off of me and transferred her over to the teacher. I made my way across the playground and looked back to see that she was still attached to the teacher. I had a ways to walk to get to my car where I got in and cried a bit at the thought of leaving my kids all in school and knowing that I'd come home to an empty quiet house. Then I drove around the front of the school in hopes that by now I would see Sela playing on the swings or talking with her friends. Instead, there she was still stuck like glue to the teacher. I hope she does ok. I hope the teacher makes her feel better.

Tess has been saying she didn't want to go to school because she didn't want me to be all alone. Bless that little girl. I took her in to Pre-K today and anticipated that she would act the way Sela did. Instead she sat down at a table and got hard at work doing puzzles. My baby, at school, doing just fine. Without me.

It's just strange. I wish I could freeze them all and not let them grow up anymore. I'm not ready for them to get big.

In other news, Hubby wants me to get a job. We could really use the extra income and we started talking about it a few weeks ago after he looked at our bills. At that point, we discussed that maybe when Tess enters 1st grade I could find a full time job. Then the next week Hubby looked at our bills and budget a little closer and things have just snowballed since then. There happens to be a full time job available that would be a lifesaver financially. But it's full time. And I'm dealing with my kids all being in school and now all of the sudden there is the possibility that I might not even be here for them on sick days and before and after school. Not to mention the summer. I decided that I would just apply and see what happens. I think the chances of me getting the position are slim and if I get it then I'll take it as a sign that it was meant to be. Except that the job is with a city office, which is where Hubby works, so he seems to be putting feelers out and thinks I might actually have a shot of getting it. It's one thing to just get it on my own and know that it was meant to be. It's another thing to have Hubby doing what he can to improve my chances of getting it. Then maybe it wasn't meant to be. Right?

I guess right now I'll just deal with the house being as quiet as it is. I'll worry about this job situation when and if they call me for an interview.

Long live the special dot

Well, it's still there.

We made it to Tulsa yesterday and were in the middle of Target, trying to do some school shopping when my cell phone rang. It was a nurse from the doctor's office calling from her cell phone.

She said, "I'm calling you from my cell phone because we've just lost all our power at the office and the Dr. wanted me to call you before you drove all the way here. Even if we do get the power back on he won't be able to work on Marleigh now today."

Great.

Nice of them to call me since I do live an hour from the office and gas is what, eight bucks a gallon these days. Ugh. Of course, I had already drug all four kids on the hour long trip and it was way past lunch time and we still hadn't eaten so no one was in a very good mood. Certainly not a mood to take that sort of phone call.

So now I guess we wait. I was supposed to get a call from the office today to reschedule but I never did. I should have called myself but truthfully I knew the chances of getting in before school starts next Wednesday would be pretty slim. So I suppose we'll plan to do it on the afternoon of Wednesday before fall break so she'll have the long weekend to heal. Not ideal since she really wanted it gone before she started middle school and met all these new kids but what can you do?

And as a side note, apparently a lot of residences and businesses in the area of the doctors office have been having electrical problems because of the heat. It was 110 yesterday. I'd say that's hot. I'm sure a certain someone I know will say this is coming back to haunt me because I ran my washing machine at the wrong time of day a couple weeks ago. And perhaps it is. But at least my family all had clean underwear on when we were driving that hour to get to Tulsa. I mean, what if we'd had a wreck and were all wearing dirty drawers?

Marleigh's special dot

When Marleigh was 4 months old, she developed a little spot under her chin. I remember it so vividly because it was right at the same time that she started eating cereal and it was that same khaki color that the cereal was. I was wiping her face one day and thought it was a spot of cereal but it didn't come off.

Over the next several months the spot grew larger and started to get darker. I'm not sure how long it was before it was the way it is now. But it currently is a large (nearly dime size) dark brown raised area. The kind of big mole that old ladies have with long black wiry hairs growing out of it.

As a little bitty girl, Marleigh referred to what we decided was a birthmark (although it wasn't there at birth) as her "special dot". I've always viewed it sort of like Cindy Crawfords mole. It's an area on Marleigh's chin that makes her, well... her. I actually think it is special. No one else has one. Just her.

But she's going into middle school this year and she's self conscious of this special dot that she now refers to as "the mole". She's told me that kids at school call her Marleigh Moley or Moley Mammoth. Why are kids so mean? I want to go beat those mean kids up.

So today we're traveling to Tulsa to have her special dot removed. I'm having my plastic surgeon do it. He doesn't normally do mole removals but since I've been such a faithful patient (not quite as faithful as Michael Jackson is to his surgeon) he is going to do it. I'm hoping she doesn't scar like I do. I'm hoping that instead of the mole she'll have what will eventually be a small little incision line that isn't noticed unless she points it out.

Another change. The end of the special dot.

Another year older, not any wiser

Yesterday was my birthday. I'm 33 years old now. I don't think I like it.

Getting older makes me sad. It makes me think about changes and I'm not really big on changes. My kids are getting big and I just don't like it. I know I should be looking forward to the great future we have with them growing up and having their own families. Trouble is I don't want them to grow up and have their own families. I'd much rather they stay small and here at home with me.

Getting older makes me think of all the things that I haven't done yet. All the things that I thought I would have done and now know that I probably never will. Missed opportunities that I didn't take because I thought I'd take them 'later'. Later never really comes does it.

My birthday comes just as the summer seems to be winding down. The kids go back to school on the 16th and I'm not ready. As crazy as they make me during the day sometimes I'm not looking forward to them all being gone. Tess will start Pre-K this year which means I won't have any little ones at home with me. I think that's the problem actually. I've had at least one of my kids at home with me for 11 years in a row now. In 2 weeks that will change and I've already stated how I feel about change.

I feel a nervous breakdown coming on. Scary.